In community associations, conflict is inevitable—whether it’s between board members, homeowners, or managers. Drawing from his background in law enforcement and crisis negotiation, Jeffrey Owens emphasizes the transformative power of respect, empathy, and intentional communication to de-escalate tense situations and guide people from confrontation to collaboration. Understanding that behavior stems from one’s perception of reality helps foster empathy, which doesn’t mean agreement but a sincere effort to recognize the other person’s perspective. By shifting conversations away from personal attacks and toward shared problems, and by using neutral, respectful language, resolution becomes more attainable.
Equally vital is mastering self-control—you can’t de-escalate someone if you’re emotionally escalated yourself. Owens advises staying calm, reframing verbal attacks, and seeing the other party as a struggling partner rather than an adversary. Through the Why-What-How framework, one can uncover motivations, clarify obstacles and goals, and implement creative solutions. Ultimately, respect in all its forms—listening without interruption, maintaining professionalism, and acknowledging contributions—serves as the key to turning chaotic conflict into cooperative growth. Just as in a marriage crisis, these strategies allow communities to build stronger, more respectful relationships even in the face of discord.
Read the whole article in our Spring 2025 edition of the Common Interest Magazine and find more editions of the Common Interest Magazine by clicking on the link below.
By Jeffrey B. Owens CSP, CTM, CVP
CAI - Illinois Chapter
The Illinois Chapter of Community Associations Institute serves the educational, business, and networking needs of community associations in the Chicagoland Area. Members include condominium, cooperative, and homeowner...
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Lea Marcou 
